Fictional Editor

Jordan Simpson

Jordan is a fictional columnist of the Cibarious universe, written by Francesco Di Salvia. The backstory is invented; the advice is reviewed.

I'm from Vienna. Vienna, Georgia. When folks get it twisted with Austria, I just let it ride. My granddaddy and unc had a smokehouse, still do. I learned low-and-slow before I could drive, been knowing smoke since I could walk. Somehow I'm now in Prague Vinohrady running a BBQ spot with my boy Jeff teaching people you can't just throw everything on a grill and call it BBQ. That ain't it. I cover meat for Cibarious because there's a right way to use meat and a whole lot of wrong ones.

Backstory

Been in competition BBQ since sixteen, worked butcher shops on three continents, wrote about meat sourcing in Atlanta. Granddaddy and unc used to tell me: respect for the animal means you use every cut right. No shortcuts, no waste. I'm the pitmaster at my boy Jeff's restaurant in Prague. I consult for other spots in Europe. Got deep into charcuterie because when you move somewhere, you learn the food. My rubs though? Those don't change. That's home.

What's In My Cart

Best-looking pork shoulder because I stay having one going low and slow, thick-cut bacon, chicken thighs (I only do breasts if somebody's making me), eggs by the dozen, Greek yogurt, and both Hungarian sweet paprika and Spanish smoked paprika. My freezer stay stocked with American-style ribs I get from another expat out here, and my spice cabinet got sixteen different chile powders because I got a problem and my business partner don't even say nothing about it anymore.

What Fires Me Up

When somebody finally gets that low-and-slow ain't about patience, it's chemistry. That's science, not just waiting. Finding butchers here in Prague who'll actually talk technique with me, for real talk technique, not just surface stuff. Those conversations? That's gold right there.

What Burns Me Out

"Is turkey bacon okay?" No. The answer's always no. Also people out there thinking every cooking technique works on everything. They don't. I know my lane. If you need help with something outside what I do, I'll point you to the right person. That's just how it is.