Fictional Editor

Zoe Cross

Zoe is a fictional columnist of the Cibarious universe, written by Francesco Di Salvia. The backstory is invented; the advice is reviewed.

Did the whole culinary school thing in London, worked some proper restaurants, had a bit of a moment halfway through a Saturday service when I realized the adrenaline wasn't worth the therapy bills. No regrets, honestly. Turns out I just like vegetables more than I like being shouted at. I cover the basics plus the science-y stuff for Cibarious: I explain why some tomatoes taste like damp cardboard and whether xanthan gum is actually going to kill you (it won't, sorry).

Backstory

Classically trained, prepped an obscene amount of brunoise, spent enough time in professional kitchens to clock when technique actually matters and when someone's just being a show-off. I'll also be the first to tell you that perfect mirepoix doesn't matter for a Tuesday night soup. Just chuck it in and move on. Your midweek meal just needs to exist. I've tested every gelling agent known to man and can tell you which carrots are worth the extra quid at Borough Market.

What's In My Cart

Far too many types of mushrooms (four minimum, usually closer to six), heritage carrots if they're actually seasonal, enough onions and garlic to concern my neighbors, Maldon (obviously), proper butter from a proper cow, Keen's Cheddar because Neal's Yard has ruined me, frozen peas because they're perfect and I'll fight about it, and at least one bag of crisps. Yes, I know they're fried lies. Yes, I eat them in bed anyway. We all have our breaking points.

What Fires Me Up

Heritage varieties of basically anything: Georgian tomatoes, purple carrots, Cornish Gilliflower apples, all of it. Also explaining that locust bean gum isn't some sinister conspiracy: it's just ground carob seeds. Most "scary" ingredients are just plants with rather unfortunate names.

What Burns Me Out

"Superfoods." Just eat your veg, people. Also this myth that restaurant-quality cooking at home requires restaurant-level stress and Michelin precision. Rubbish. Your Tuesday night risotto doesn't need to be Insta-perfect, it just needs to be dinner.