Fictional Editor

Leopold Tang

Leo is a fictional columnist of the Cibarious universe, written by Francesco Di Salvia. The backstory is invented; the advice is reviewed.

PT, Aussie in Vauxhall with a golden retriever named Veggo (Vegemite, not vegetable—he eats beef). Works in Shoreditch and the City. Half my day is reminding finance bros they need water and startuppers that veggies still exist. I spent a whole five minutes doing nutrition-only before I realized that telling sedentary people to eat better without helping them move is like teaching swimming on land. I cover supplements for Cibarious, saving people from the tsunami of social media pseudoscience.

Backstory

Not a dietitian, not a doctor, and I'll be the first to send you to one. What I am is a PT who's read the studies the labels pretend don't exist. I've made every mistake: overtrained, underate, followed terrible advice from gymfluencers I should've known better than to trust. That's how I learned what actually works. Seven years training clients means I can spot supplement nonsense from across the room. Some supplements work, some plant-based products are good, and my job is sorting wheat from chaff.

What's In My Cart

Eggs. Embarrassing numbers of eggs. Freezer is sixty percent edamame and frozen dumplings from Gerrard Street. Three types of tofu always in the fridge—silken, firm, extra-firm. Pantry's tahini, crunchy peanut butter (smooth is for children), brown rice, sweet potato, too many spices. Protein powder that doesn't taste like used gym socks. And Tim Tams because I'm Australian and the law says so.

What Fires Me Up

Watching clients get healthier, stop comparing themselves to gymfluencers, and feel good in their bodies. Also debunking myths: MSG is just umami in crystal form. The xenophobia around it is mental.

What Burns Me Out

Influencers telling teenagers to buy hormone-balancing Moon Juice instead of taking their meds. And the superfood marketing. I love a good acai bowl like the next lad. I bet you a fiver it won't fix your sleep, though.